fuck off

ghosts of my past return to haunt me, thanks to kakak.

what the hell? fuck off, bitch. fatass.

they came, hand in hand

why does shit not happen but happens? at pairs at that!

no phone and then coems the bigger shit! 1week of studying all for naught! flunk the maths shit big time.

books

anybody got good books to recommend? seems that the library has a huge stockpile of books. thing is, all the good 1s get booked/borrowed, leaving the shitty ass 1s by shitty ass authors hoping to make a quick buck.

and soooooo, after delving into the depths of the enormous catalogue, there appears a few hidden gems.

the maigret series by georges simenon. his books belong in the crime/thriller category, yet the focus is on the emotional and the dark side of human nature. therefore the books give a quite interesting perspective different from your Agatha Christie or Arthur Conan Doyle. While the latter explores the how, the former explores the why.

very very interesting. anybody got books to lend?

kicks to the head can't kill?

this blog coincidentally named after a tkd kick somehow feels inclined to comment on the recent articles(s) that appeared in the Straits Times about a boy who died after being kicked in the neck during a tkd match.

it seems that comments by the Singapore Taekwondo Federation make tkd sound like a sport which is perfectly safe if the proper safety gear are worn and rules are followed. it also adds that only adults aged 17 and above are allowed kicks to the head.

wow. so '17 year olds are immune to death, therefore the permit for kicks to the head' is what the statement implies, when read collectively with the previous statement that the sport is safe.

question! wouldn't 17year olds have more strength and would that not result in more lethal and powerful kicks?

question! so is tkd now a sport like fencing where exponents square off in skill alone with no possible harm to themselves? and does the underlying foundation on which the sport was built on, i.e. to defend yourself i.e. maiming your attacker so u have time to get away, totally and conveniently forgotten when they say it is 'safe' in a bid to attract more bao gui sons and daugthers to train in their superior safer training facility with world class safety practices?

here now, nicky, come here! nicky nicky! where are u? damn i can't recognize me son. they all look alike covered head to toe in full battle order.

help i can't walk! my protective gear is too heavy!

come on! kick me! i can't feel pain cos of my superior kevlar reinforced armour!

come on! stab me! i won't feel any pain cos in training, i dun.

it's been a long time coming...

long long ago, long long ago, tell me the tale that to me was so dear, long long ago, long long ago.

many things happened. just stumbled back into this blog. aaaaah... nostalgic...

the start

the training programme was quite interesting and very different from BMT for the first 2weeks. for the first part, we had damn lot of lectures on leadership. so much so as to the point where many people were totally bored out. haha but i wasn't complaining. as long as i didn't have to go out to the field. leadership field camp was where i confirmed the feeling that my wing was very very focused on training. others were in camo and eating from ration packs while we were doing all our activities with our usual untainted faces and eating fresh hot rations. haha.

my instructor is a very nice guy. hardly scolds people. likewise for most of the other instructors. even if there is scolding, it is kept to a minimun. it's more focus on the training itself and correction if anyone makes a mistake. it is even more evident when i say that i cannot remember being pumped for more than3 times. however, having said that, when it comes to physical training, it is very focused also, therefore it is very tough.

the people here are mostly leader material. however, there's some i cannot undertand how they even came here. take for example, the person sleeping in the same room as me. shall leave the elaboration to casual discussion. haha.

had 3 field camps already. it's a very nasty feeling in the weeks and especially the days leading up to it. can't bath. sweat like fuck. feed the mosquitoes. nasty and unenjoyable stuff. the sense of dread and forebidding. but, i'm very thankful for my wing. as i said, training is very focused. so when we do our stuff, there's no unnecessary time wastage doing miscellaneaous stuff like push ups. haha but then there's 1 drawback and that's when everyone starts being lethargic. very irritating when everybody moves so slowly, and especially taking their time to get the butts off the ground. i dunno... maybe it's the time where some punishment would come in handy and get things moving. not disciplined and definitely not commander material.

many weeks have passed already since the first day here. 10weeks to be exact. wow that's like more by 1week of BMT. and i doubt anybody feels as lethargic as when bMT was coming to and end. and i don't even know it's passed so fast. wow... but next up... field camp again and lots of digging and more digging. ever tried digging a sewage system like in the teenage mutant ninja turtles? i haven't, and i'm gonna be doing that. haha.

the beginning

heyyyyyyyyyyyy it seems it's been a while huh? haha. more like an eternity man. couldn't find the energy or rather was too lazy to post anything new.

well the past 1 month plus has been quite an enjoyable roller coaster ride. not too tough yet not too slack to make me bored. a very nice mixture of fun and shit. mmmm smells like chicken.

got my posting to go SISPEC. heartbroken. frustrated. suicidal. in agony. hahaha no fucking way have i ever felt like that la. only bloody emotional people with no sense of practicality or self control do that. i just felt... cheated. how come some of the underserving 1s can get to go in when i know i'm so much better? anyway resigned myself to my fate and told myself to get into OCS through the alternative route. secretly i hoped that it was just the pilot application taking to long to process. give them some time, they might post me there when the processing's done.

so off i went to SISPEC. the place is new, not bad, but it feels like a prison with the greyish buildings and sweltering weather with no trees overhead. the first day was spent orientating myself to the place and people, as per usual. i think the company, Juliet Company, i was in was a rather slack company. it was newly formed, so the OC and Sergeants were all assembled from other different companies. therefore, there could be 2 conclusions: a) xiong like siao, since the OC would be trying to prove something through results, or b) slack like siao. luckily for the others, it was slack like siao. one of the sergeats made it very clear that during field camp, as long as we did the drills well, the rest of the time would be spent having a little R&R. super slack. spent the night hoping the new posting would come soon...

i slept there for that night. the next day, i was gone. or was it the day after? haha. yeah i thnk it was for 1 night only. did IPPT in the morning. then 1 sergeant came into the lecture room with an email. waaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahaah damn shocked but happy. took a cab with a few other lucky souls like me to OCS. yada yada... settled down... yada yada and stuff. but it was slightly more difficult to mix because i came in 1 day late. missed out important house rules and the welcome message. wow man... i never thought that all these things which i often thought were bullshit could be so important.

routine interview by instructor that night i think. asked why i came to OCS. was it because i applied for pilot? the answer: no. wow that makes it even better. i came in on my own merits, which means those whom i thought were not as good somehow got in because they were lucky. ok just pacifying myself. anyway it was a wrong posting, that was why i went to SISPEC for the 1st day. anyway, the main issue was, i'm here!

and that was just the start of the journey. and it's such a long post already. hope i don't bore you. more posts coming up, if i can find the willpower. haha

back to civilisation

i'm BACK! for 4 precious days at least. after 2weeks in camp. of which 1week was spent in hell, home feels like heaven. too bad i still have to go back on tuesday. damn...

the week before field camp was damn slack. i think they were just letting us enjoy life before they suck it out of us. haha had so much time for so many power naps man. was really starting to love life. haha especially the last few days before field camp. wa OC cancelled so many xiong activites man! damn happy. but bloody hell... when field camp starts...

camo on, camo off. on and off. and again. that was the 1st day. fucking bitter foretaste of what's to come man. had to dig and the whole fucking area was damn dusty. people were coughing like mad man.

ok skip to the enjoyable parts.

3rd day we had intra platoon war games. damn fun! exactly like CS man. just camp there then manipulate each other then over run those bitches! haha super fun.

4th day they let us splash water on ourselves. i tell you, after not bathing for 4days, that little water is heavenly. you feel super refreshed. but before that, we had inter platoon war game. dam fun again. my section had the least people because many people were sick. so we played guerilla warfare. travel by drain and ambush. hahahahhahhahh we had the best win/lose ratio man! the rest of the day was spent slacking. literally lying around and slacking. haha had to take up defensive position and lying there in wait. damn shiok man!!!! but got up in the night and did stupid things. shall not expose myself. haha.

anyway i slimmed down. and i eat much lesser now. i like my tougher bod. hahahaha shall make it even better.

anyway... lying there on the grass with the stars for a roof, i couldn't help thinking of....